SETTING: Inside JOHN and CHARLOTTE's small but well-decorated NYC apartment. A round kitchen table sits upstage, just right of center, and a small couch sits downstage left, behind a television which sits on the floor.
[JOHN, a youthful man in his late twenties, dressed in jeans and a polo, sits at the kitchen table, flipping through a magazine. HE gets up and pours himself some orange juice from the refrigerator, drinking the entire glass in one go. HE looks back into the fridge, evidently searching for something to eat, and, finding nothing, closes the door and grabs a stack of take-out menus from on top of the fridge. HE sits back down at the kitchen table and flips through the menus. The clock on the wall strikes four.
CHARLOTTE, a thirty-one year old business entrepreneur, enters, breathing slightly heavily. She is dressed in stylish business attire. Her shoes, Manolo Blahnik heels, hang in her hands. She is barefoot.]
JOHN: Hi, sweetheart. You're home early. I was just going to call the office to see if you wanted Chinese or Italian tonight. I think we haven't had sushi in a while, either... [Seeing her distress] Are you okay?
CHARLOTTE: [Frantic] What does that mean, am I okay? How could I be okay? How are you okay?
JOHN: Um, I'm sorry?
CHARLOTTE: [On the verge of tears] Goddamnit, John. What's wrong with you?
JOHN: [Thoroughly confused, but gentle] I...Charlotte honey, come sit down. We can talk about whatever it is that's bothering y-
CHARLOTTE: Bothering me? This isn't a bother, John. Taking the trash out is a bother. This is astronomical! God, I ran all the way from 63rd to see you and now you're just so nonchalant I could puke! This is- [Finally seeing his confusion] You haven't heard.
JOHN: Obviously not.
CHARLOTTE: Oh. Really? [Struggling to find words] Well. It's that...you really haven't heard? [Sits down slowly next to JOHN]
JOHN: No, honey, I haven't. I don't think so, at least.
CHARLOTTE: [Shakes her head. Won't make eye contact with JOHN]
JOHN: Did something happen to your Dad? Or Mom? Is your sister knocked up again?
CHARLOTTE: [Quietly] No, no, everyone's fine.
JOHN: Then what is it?
CHARLOTTE: It's...the end of the world, John.
JOHN: I know you think it's a big deal, but just tell me. I'm sure it's not as bad--
CHARLOTTE: [Shaking head, looking at JOHN] No, honey. It is literally the end of the world.
JOHN: ...what? What are you talking about? Where'd you hear that?
CHARLOTTE: It's all over the news, every TV channel; I can't believe you haven't seen it. An asteroid, nearly three miles across, is headed straight towards us. Scientists say its velocity is so immense, there's no possible way we could stop it. Not at this point. It's just too late.
JOHN: Is this some sort of joke? It's not funny, Charlotte. C'mon, stop it.
CHARLOTTE: I'm not joking. Why would I joke about this? Just turn on the news, you'll see.
[JOHN reluctantly gets up from the kitchen table and walks over to the television, the back of which faces the audience. He picks up the remote and turns the TV on. Voice over starts immediately.]
TV NEWS V/O 1 (MAN): --haven't seen anything like this for at least 10 million years, he says. But Dr. Hempkin was adamant in his certainty: This asteroid will hit the Earth, and it will cause extreme, if not world-changing damage. The amount of damage depends upon a lot of factors, none of which we can accurately determine at this time.
[JOHN sits back on the couch, in shock]
TV NEWS V/O 2 (WOMAN): Understood. I just can't believe this is really happening. And what was the timeframe we're looking at, Michael?
TV NEWS V/O 1 (MAN): It's tough to say, but Dr. Hempkin estimated the asteroid will enter the Earth's atmosphere within the next four hours.
TV NEWS V/O 2 (WOMAN): Four hours. Wow. So by 8 PM tonight, our world, and our lives, could be very different. Could be... gone. Is there any advice you can give?
TV NEWS V/O 1 (MAN): [HE sighs.] I wish there were, Angela. I mean, yes, try to get to a bomb shelter, if possible. Even a basement with a lot of canned goods. Again, we don't know exactly how bad this impact will be. There may be some hope, but at this point, it may be best to find a way to be with your loved ones.
TV NEWS V/O 2 (WOMAN): Thank you, Michael. For more on this developing story--
[CHARLOTTE turns off the TV and sits next to JOHN, who is in shock, on the couch]
CHARLOTTE: So.
JOHN: So. It's real.
CHARLOTTE: Yes.
JOHN: Why didn't we know about this sooner? And what do they mean, "a lot of factors?" [Increasingly getting angrier] What fucking good are these scientists? "Oh, hey, we know about this giant thing that's going to kill you, but we can't fucking do anything about it. Sorry bout that." Goddamnit!
CHARLOTTE: I know. I know! It's terrible. I was pissed off, too. God, this isn't fair.
JOHN: No, it's not fair. Not at all! I mean, with no warning? None at all?? 4 hours. That's what we have left. And then... well I don't even know how that would go.
CHARLOTTE: What do you mean?
JOHN: I know this might be a stupid question, and honestly it probably doesn't matter but, when the asteroid hits the Earth, what exactly happens? Why are we wiped out? It's three miles across...
CHARLOTTE: I guess the force just cracks everything and we simply fall apart. We're just all pulled down onto a big rock. So when that rock is gone, exploded into a billion pieces, we're gone, too.
JOHN: Will it be quick? Will it...hurt?
CHARLOTTE: I don't know; I haven't been through one before.
JOHN: Me neither.
[Silence. CHARLOTTE and JOHN stare into nothingness for a while.]
CHARLOTTE: [Getting up] I need a drink.
JOHN: OJ's in the fridge.
CHARLOTTE: Nothing stronger?
JOHN: I don't know. There might be some rum left from New Years.
CHARLOTTE: Good. [SHE finds the rum after looking in a few cabinets and pours herself a rum and orange juice.] Want one?
JOHN: Sure. [SHE pours another and hands one to HIM.] To...the end of the world.
CHARLOTTE: I guess that's all we've got. [They cheers and take a sip. They both sit down at the kitchen table.] So what do you think happens? After we die?
JOHN: We go to heaven, I guess. That's what's supposed to happen, anyway.
CHARLOTTE: Heaven? The Earth is about to be smashed into oblivion and you still think God is involved here?
JOHN: I mean, yeah. You know, "He works in mysterious ways" and all that stuff. Maybe this is all part of His plan.
CHARLOTTE: [Amused] Plan? John, there's no plan. We're alone here. It's just us and this giant rock that we live on and this other giant rock that's going to mean the end of everything we've ever known. We're accidental. A coincidence. We were cooked up naturally out of nothing and now into nothing we'll go. Like it never even happened.
JOHN: You really believe that?
CHARLOTTE: Yes. Yes, I do. And frankly, I find it more comforting to think that we're totally alone and we fuck things up ourselves than to believe there's something or someone up there, watching us, practically forcing us to live our lives the way he wants us to do it, and then ending it in one giant pretty explosion. For fun.
JOHN: But then why are we here? That's the question, isn't it? What was the point of all of this?
CHARLOTTE: There's no point. That's the point.
JOHN: But that doesn't make sense. There has to be a reason for humanity. A reason it's all about to end.
CHARLOTTE: Why?
JOHN: Because...because otherwise we're just a bunch of organisms crawling on a rock. Like fungus.
CHARLOTTE: Just like fungus. [SHE finishes her drink and pours another.]
JOHN: So then, what do you think happens? When we die?
CHARLOTTE: I don't know. I never really thought about it before. [SHE thinks about it.] Okay, you know how blind people can't see?
JOHN: ...yes.
CHARLOTTE: Okay, well, it's not that they see black or darkness. They see absolutely nothing. I've heard it said that they see out of their eyes the equivalent of what we see out of our elbows.
JOHN: So?
CHARLOTTE: So, I think that's what happens when we die. Our consciousness goes to our elbows and there's nothing at all. We don't even know there's nothing. Like babies before they're conceived.
JOHN: That's depressing.
CHARLOTTE: Not really. It's better than eternal pain in hell. Or we get to heaven and live in eternal boredom.
[The clock begins to strike three times.]
JOHN: Time sure does fly when you're about to die.
CHARLOTTE: That'd be a good song title.
[They sit and wait for the clock to stop.]
JOHN: I'm hungry. Wanna order Chinese?
CHARLOTTE: I mean, you can try, but I doubt they're delivering right now.
JOHN: [Gets up with take-out menu in hand and grabs the phone on the wall.] Kung Pao Chicken good?
CHARLOTTE: And an egg roll.
JOHN: [Dials the number on the menu.] [to CHARLOTTE] It's ringing! [to phone]-- Oh! Hi! Didn't really expect anyone to pick up! Uh, are you delivering tonight? -- You are? Great! Uh, I'll get two egg rolls, an order of Kung Pao Chicken and, uh [looking through the menu] an order of Sweet and Sour Pork. -- Large, please. -- Coke. -- That's it! -- 2531 67th St., Apt. 3E. -- Great, thanks. [Hangs up the phone.] [to CHARLOTTE] 20 minutes.
CHARLOTTE: That seems like such a long time now.
JOHN: Yeah, I guess it does. [Thinks.] Wait, should we be trying to get to some shelter or something? Like the TV guy said?
CHARLOTTE: [shrugs] What good will that do, really? Suppose we head down to the subway, if we can even get through the crowds that I'm sure have gathered there. When it hits, we'll all just be trapped down there with no food, no water, no air. Just thousands of sweaty, crying people who are, no doubt, defecating on the stairways. Does that sound like how you want to spend the rest of your life?
JOHN: Not really, no. But maybe there's somewhere else like, a bomb shelter or something. Shouldn't they have those in a city this big?
CHARLOTTE: You'd think so, right? But I looked it up at work when I first heard; they're all sealed up. You pretty much have to make your own bomb shelter nowadays, but only weirdo doomsday preppers did that.
JOHN: Yeah, well, guess they don't look so weird now.
CHARLOTTE: Uh huh.
JOHN: Look, Charlotte, we still have four hours. [Walks to the window.] That'll give us enough time to cross the bridge and get to Jersey, where I'm sure there are shelters and - [Pulls the curtains aside to see the street.] Shit.
CHARLOTTE: What? [SHE walks over to him to see.] Shit.
JOHN: I didn't even know there were that many cars in New York.
CHARLOTTE: [Walking away from the window, dejected.] There's no way we're getting out of here, John.
JOHN: Hey, you don't know, there might be time. We could get out of here. Don't you think we should at least try?
CHARLOTTE: [Suddenly upset] God, John, there's no point! We're going to die - everyone's going to die and that's that. There's no use trying to fight it.
JOHN: But what if there is? How can you just let go so easily? God, it's almost like you want to die.
CHARLOTTE: Yeah, well, maybe I do.
JOHN: What?
CHARLOTTE: Maybe I do! And maybe this is the best way to go about it. No control. You know, you live through other people's death and it seems so far, so unreal, like it's never going to happen to you. But you know it is, and then you're given this giant fucking responsibility to not let it happen just yet. Because most of the time, it's your own fault. Unhealthy lifestyle, drunk driving, even stressing too much can give you fucking cancer. At least this way, with an unavoidable astroid careening straight at our throats, I know I'm not to blame. I couldn't change it.
JOHN: But dammit, Charlotte, maybe you can change it. That's what I'm saying. Look, if we just get out of here right now, we might be able to-
CHARLOTTE: Just stop it, John. I'm ready. Honestly, I'm relieved to be done with all this.
JOHN: How can you say that? What about your career? Your family? And what about me? Us?
CHARLOTTE: John, you know I don't mean- that's not what I meant. You're very important to me, but it's just- I don't know.
JOHN: What? What is it?
CHARLOTTE: Nothing. Look, John, do you really want to have this discussion right now?
JOHN: What other time is there?
CHARLOTTE: Look, John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Can we just let it go? Talk about something else?
JOHN: Sure. Fine. Whatever. [Sits on the couch. SHE is in the kitchen area. Silence.]
CHARLOTTE: John, please. I said I was sorry. This whole situation just kinda sucks, you know? Let's not spend our last hours mad at each other.
JOHN: [releasing his anger] Okay. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.
[CHARLOTTE sits down next to JOHN on the couch. They hold hands.]
JOHN: Wanna watch TV?
CHARLOTTE: Not even a little bit.
[Doorbell rings.]
JOHN: I got it. [HE answers the door. Chinese DELIVERY MAN enters carrying two brown bags; HE is very cheery.] Hey, how's it going? What do I owe you?
DELIVERY MAN: $22.50.
JOHN: [Hands over money and takes the bags.] Keep the change. Hey, so, I appreciate you working and everything but, shouldn't you be at home? With your family?
DELIVERY MAN: Why?
JOHN: Uh, well, because of the whole asteroid thing.
DELIVERY MAN: So?
JOHN: So? It's...it's going to destroy the Earth. In three hours.
DELIVERY MAN: Yup.
JOHN: I mean, we're all probably going to die.
DELIVERY MAN: I know.
JOHN: Well, then why are you spending your last hours at your job? Like I said, I'm not complaining, but it just seems strange.
DELIVERY MAN: I like my job!
JOHN: Well, yes, but-
DELIVERY MAN: It's a good job.
JOHN: Ok but, your family?
DELIVERY MAN: They'll be fine. You were hungry!
JOHN: Um, ok?
DELIVERY MAN: Have a good night! [Exits.]
CHARLOTTE: That was weird.
JOHN: [Thinking, not moving from the door.] Yeah...
CHARLOTTE: Can I have my Kung Pao?
JOHN: What? Oh, yeah here. [Drops the bags on the kitchen table.]
CHARLOTTE: [Grabs HER food out of the bag and starts eating it with the plastic forks and knives.] Damn, this is good. [Sees JOHN still thinking.] Your Sweet and Sour Pork's gonna get soggy.
JOHN: What was with that guy?
CHARLOTTE: The Chinese food guy?
JOHN: Yeah. He was so...nonchalant about the whole thing.
CHARLOTTE: People handle stress in different ways, I guess. Have some coke.
JOHN: [Shaking it off, sits himself down. Begins eating his food and pours HIMSELF and HER some drinks.] Can I ask you something?
CHARLOTTE: Maybe...
JOHN: Do you have any regrets?
CHARLOTTE: Well, currently I'm regretting not getting a side of lo mein. Calories don't count when you're dead.
JOHN: You know what I mean. Like, regrets about your life. Things you wish you did or didn't do.
CHARLOTTE: [Pauses, thinking.] I guess I wish I had gotten my own dog. We, or really my parents, had this dog, Bernard, growing up. He was the cutest little Corgi, with tiny legs and big bat ears and a bark that wasn't loud, really, just cute. He liked me, I guess, but he was always much more partial to my dad. He'd sleep on his feet and be really good out on walks with him. It was sweet, seeing their connection, almost like Bernard really knew my dad, like no one else did. When I moved out, I kept putting off getting my own dog because of money, or my apartment was too small, or I'd be away during the day too long, or whatever. And now here I am, mere hours away from death, and I'll never know what it's like to have that sort of wordless connection that seemed more real than any other relationship I've ever seen. [SHE looks at JOHN, then turns away embarrassed.] I guess that's pretty dumb.
JOHN: No, not at all. That's it?
CHARLOTTE: That's it. I'm not saying I wouldn't have done anything differently, if I had a second chance; maybe I would have worked a little bit less, but I don't stay up at night regretting the hours I've put in. It allowed me to live the kind of life I wanted to live.
[SHE eats. HE picks at his food.]
CHARLOTTE: So, what about you? Regrets?
JOHN: It's hard to say. I mean, everything I've done has led me to where I am now. To you. But now that I know it all ends like this, maybe I wish I had, I don't know.
CHARLOTTE: What?
JOHN: Taken more risks, or something. Moved to Thailand for a year. Tried for a Ph.D. Had kids. [That slipped out. Looks to HER nervously.] Sorry, I didn't mean-
CHARLOTTE: It's okay. I know that's how you feel.
[THE CLOCK STRIKES TWO.]
JOHN: I've just been looking back at my life and it feels like I haven't actually done anything. I've worked shift jobs, I've lived in New York my entire life, I've never been out of the country. Fuck, I've never even eaten Indian food. I can't believe I wasted so much time, thinking there'd always be another day, another opportunity. I've been content, but never happy. It's like, like I've let life just happen and I watched.
CHARLOTTE: Honey, don't be so hard on yourself. You thought you had time; you did have more time, until just a few hours ago.
JOHN: No, I didn't. That's the thing. This was going to happen whether or not I knew about it. Death was certainly going to happen, I just assumed not for at least another 20 years or so. [HE is visibly distraught.] Jesus.
CHARLOTTE: [Growing with pity.] I'm sorry, John. I don't know what to say.
JOHN: Fuck, I just wish we could start over.
CHARLOTTE: I know.
JOHN: [Looks at the clock.] How much time do we have left?
CHARLOTTE: [Looking at the clock.] I'm not sure. 1, maybe two hours.
JOHN: Maybe I should call my dad.
CHARLOTTE: That's a good idea.
[JOHN slowly gets up from the kitchen table and grabs the phone. He dials while CHARLOTTE goes back to her food.]
JOHN: Hi, Dad? It's John. ... I'm good, I'm good. [Looks at CHARLOTTE; his dad doesn't seem to know what's going on.] ... She's good. Listen, Dad, I just wanted to say that- what? ... No, I don't think I can make Kristen's baby shower next week. I have...[looking at CHARLOTTE] work that day. ... Tell her I'm sorry I missed it. Anyway, I just wanted to, to thank you. ... I don't know, for everything, I guess. You've always been there for me and really stepped up since, you know. ... Thanks, Dad. I could have been a better son. ... Nothing, everything's fine. Just was thinking about you. ... Okay. I'll talk to you later. ... Love you too. Bye. [He hangs up.]
CHARLOTTE: He doesn't know?
JOHN: Apparently not; he doesn't watch a lot of TV. I didn't have the heart to tell him. Not like it's going to matter anyway.
CHARLOTTE: Any chance it's...not happening anymore?
JOHN: Wishful thinking.
CHARLOTTE: Let's make sure. [She goes to the TV and turns it on.]
TV COMMERCIAL V/O: Ask your doctor today if Symbica could be right for you.
CHARLOTTE: Well they're playing commercials! That's a good sign.
TV NEWS V/O 2: [SHE is distraught.] Welcome back to CBS News 4, following the Breaking News of the asteroid about to hit Earth.
JOHN: Shit. [They sit on the couch.]
TV NEWS V/O 2: Our latest information from NASA predicts the asteroid will hit in approximately one hour from now. Maybe even sooner. Again, they can't guarantee any results, but it does look like the damage will be immense.
TV NEWS V/O 1: We don't want to raise any false hope. We recommend you speak with your loved ones.
TV NEWS V/O 2: We will be here to report any news as long as we can. Stay safe, America, and God bless.
JOHN: [Turns off the TV.] Fuck this. [Walks off stage to off-stage bedroom.]
CHARLOTTE: What are you doing? John?
JOHN: [Storming back onstage, box in hand.] I'm taking control. [He sets the box down on the kitchen table and opens it. A gun is inside.]
CHARLOTTE: What the fuck, John? Where'd you get that?
JOHN: [Staring at the box, suddenly calm.] Rick and I both bought one after he got mugged a couple months ago. For protection.
CHARLOTTE: And you've just had it in our bedroom? Without telling me?
[CLOCK STRIKES]
JOHN: To protect you. To protect us. [He picks it up, slowly, out of the box.]
[CLOCK STRIKES]
CHARLOTTE: What are you doing? John?
JOHN: Like I said. Taking control. [He starts putting bullets into the gun.]
CHARLOTTE: [Frantic.] Jesus, John, no, stop it.
[CLOCK STRIKES]
CHARLOTTE: This isn't how it has to be. You never know; we don't know what's going to happen.
JOHN: We know, Charlotte. It's over. [He finishing putting bullets in.]
CHARLOTTE: [In tears.] Please, John, don't. We can talk about this. Put the gun down.
[CLOCK STRIKES]
JOHN: I've spent my entire life just letting things happen. It's time I take control of something, and this is my last chance.
[CLOCK STRIKES]
CHARLOTTE: No, it's not! John, please, stay with me. Stay with me, come here. Give me the gun. Give me the gun and we'll sit together. Please.
[CLOCK STRIKES]
JOHN: I have to do this, Charlotte. Nothing you can say will stop me. [Puts the gun under his chin.]
[CLOCK STRIKES]
CHARLOTTE: Don't do it, John. Oh god, don't do it. I love you, please, please stop it. Don't leave me alone.
[CLOCK STRIKES]
JOHN: I love you, too Charlotte. You're my world. But it's over. It's time.
CHARLOTTE: Please, John, don't-
[JOHN pulls the trigger. HE falls backwards, dead.]
[CLOCK STRIKES]
CHARLOTTE: [Falls down next to him, sobbing.] John, no, no, no.
[Sound effects: Giant boom and crashing sounds; CHARLOTTE screams. Lights: Flicker for a few seconds, then go out completely. CHARLOTTE is still crying in the dark, sad and frightened.
The phone rings, and continues to ring as the curtain closes.]
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